(OOC: Apologies for the lack of updates in VBCW Herefordshire. I’m busy with my Frostgrave stuff at the moment, having pretty much painted everything I need for VBCW. However, this post by erstwhileVBCW gamer ‘Leadboy’ requires some kind of retort…)
Who is the ‘Scarlet Lady’?
Decent law-abiding listeners throughout the county have been shocked and scandalised by the recent output from a traitorous radio station, the ‘Bishop’s Broadcasting Service’.
Transmitting from rebel-held Ludlow, their so-called news program claims to have uncovered the identity of the ‘Scarlet Lady’ – an unfortunate young woman, who is rumoured to appear in a number of photographs from the collection of the late gadabout, Colonel Patrick Mustard.
These frightful derrogutypes, the rebels claim, are of none other than Lady de Braose, supposed wife of our dear Governor!
Until now this noble Baron has refused to lower himself and answer such ludicrous claims, but at the urging of his press secretary, has released the following statement: “What utter rot! It just goes to show how desperate these fellows are, to cast aspersions on a man’s wife, especially when that man is not actually married! Silly b-s!”
Indeed, as everyone in proper Herefordshire society knows, Baron de Braose is a confirmed bachelor, who’s only mistress is his job!
Manuscript still in Rebel Hands
The salacious memoirs of the aforementioned Mustard is still thought to be in rebel hands, being last seen in the grubby oil-stained hands of a socialist rabble-rouser.
As is the habit of these unscrupulous reds, excerpts have been leaked to the more disreputable organs of the press (see above), however most of these have been dismissed as the perverted workings of an unbalanced hack by experts.
Many however are still taking this work of fiction seriously, and have expressed an interest in securing the manuscript. Shady deals are thought to have been made, although the authorities have disavowed any involvement, merely warning individuals against making private agreements with such unpleasant characters.
Fighting Near Aconbury
After a period of calm, fresh fighting has erupted around the Aconbury front around the Hereford-Ross road. Our correspondent Mr. Morrison has phoned in this report from Shell village:
A BUF lorry carrying fuel had broken down and been hidden in a barn near Shell village. The BUF/Royalist forces were tasked with recovering the fuel. The Anglican League forces were ordered to sweep the village and farm for rumoured hidden fuel supplies. Both sides were under strict orders NOT to destroy the fuel.
Unknown to both sides the ruined village was occupied by the remnants of the Shell LDV, who had been decimated in a previous battle after being deserted by their Anglican allies. Now nursing a bitter hatred of both sides they were determined to fight to the last to defend their village against all-comers.
As the Hereford Small Traders advanced into the village on the Anglican left flank and Lord Scudamore’s Loyal Legion did likewise on the Royalist right both suffered casualties when ambushed by the Shell LDV, who knocked out an Anglican armoured car with grenades.
In the centre the BUF reached the barn, where they were inadvertently joined by Lord Scudamore’s Legion seeking cover, and the Gas Street Irregulars seeking loot. With 75% of the King’s men in the barn the Anglican commander, unaware the barn contained the vital fuel, decided it made too tempting a target for his mortar team to ignore. As spectators held their breath the mortar scored a direct hit, but to the disappointment of the onlookers the bomb turned out to be a dud and failed to explode!
Meanwhile the avaricious tendencies of the Gas Street Irregulars had left the Royalist left flank held by only the BUF Company Sergeant, who now faced the Archenfield Young Farmers and an armoured car advancing along the road through a wood. In an act of seemingly suicidal bravery he charged the Farmers, who failed their morale test and fled. He then survived a machine-gunning attempt by the armoured car and charged it in return. The raw crew also failed their morale test and drove off. Sgt.’ Mad Wullie’ MacFeeble has been recommended for the Cross of St.George (Iron Class).
A desperate charge towards the barn by the Forest of Dean Free Miners and the Bishop of Hereford’s Suffragen Militia was met with a hail of fire from the BUF HMG and artillery, and repulsed with heavy casualties. The Shell LDV were finally wiped out by the Royalist cricketers of Lord Smedley’s Gentlemen’s Second XI, and the game ended with the Royalist/BUF forces triumphant, having had the best of luck. If only that mortar shell had exploded...........!
Mr. Morrison was also on the present during a BUF punitive expedition against malcontents on Windy Ridge:
Both sides were tasked with investigating suspicious lights from the church tower and checking the village for spies. The BUF had also assembled a demolition team to destroy the Bishop’s Broadcasting Corporation transmitter on Windy Ridge, which was guarded by the Archenfield Young Farmers.
A cautious approach by both sides uncovered a number of malcontents and deserters lurking in the woods and houses, some of whom surrendered quietly but a few decided to fight and put up a ferocious resistance, causing casualties on both sides, before being eliminated. This diversion basically bogged down the whole centre of the battlefield.
On the Anglican left wing the Forest of Dean Free Miners were driven back from the church by the Cheltenham Ladies College and Gas Street Irregulars, who occupied the tower, but found nothing untoward.
On Windy Ridge the firepower of the BUF supported by an armoured car forced the Archenfield Young Farmers to fall back, but time ran out before the demolition of the transmitter could be carried out.
Kington on the Verge!
Welsh nationalists holding the market town of Kington are on the verge of surrendering, a military spokesman has revealed:
“With the railways cleared of rebel saboteurs, we have been able to transport heavy siege guns from Royalist bases in the West Midlands, and are currently using them to great effect against the Taffies,” he said.
There can be no doubt that Joubert’s men and our brave Territorials have their tails up now, and soon they will have liberated Kington and, with the rebels in full flight back across into Wales, will have secured the border within days!
An attempt has been made on the life of the former Bishop of Hereford, currently staying in the city at a guest of Baron de Braose.
At 3 a.m. last Wednesday, an intruder broke into the ex-Bishop’s lodgings in the Green Dragon Hotel and lunged at the stricken cleric with a kitchen knife. Thankfully the noise alerted a section of de Braose’s personal guard, who were also staying at the hotel. These stalwart fellows managed to apprehend the would-be assassin before he could fulfil his gruesome intent.
A man, thought to be a crazed anarchist agitator escaped from nearby Burghill Asylum, is currently being held under arrest at Hereford city gaol.
In order to protect the former Bishop, orders have been given to fly him to an undisclosed location for his personal safety. Captain Arrowsmith’s air flotilla is currently on standby at Hereford Racecourse in readiness for this transportation.
Sir Barrington Patchpole, QC, is delighted to announce his engagement to Lady Deirdre Ffaines-Muir of Wigmore Manor.
The couple, both long-standing widowers, are believed to have developed a close attachment during their work with the Landowners’ Protection Association, branches of which they both lead.